"Bro, I've got Tom Brady AND Adrian Peterson on my fantasty team! There's a 70% chance of rain and an 100% chance of a beatdown on your ass tomorrow!"In conclusion, Pre-2011 I thought fantasy football was a game that was primarlily designed with douchebags in mind. However, as of late the times they are a changing, and I am now quickly becoming one of those douchebags.
"My fantasy squad is unreal. I've got Fitzgerald, Welker, & Wallace as my receivers. I have the Steelers defense, and Sebastian Janikowski is my kicker. Chicks wanna bang me because my fantasy football team is so awesome."
My younger brother started an ESPN fantasy football league this season, and he asked me to join. At first I was reluctant, but eventually I agreed. I'm now paying more attention to football than I have in years.
It's been an up and down year for my squad the Nut Kicking Ninjas. We've had some running back issues this season, and I have a bad habit of benching players when they have their best game of the season. At press time we're 4-6. The Ninjas aren't playoff bound (our season is only 13 weeks), but if we win out we can still have a winning season. However, I definitely wanna put together another team next season, and I think my team will do better next year. Before you know it I will be the one saying....
"Hello. This is a courtesy call from Comcast. I just wanted to make sure that your cable is working properly, and that you just witnessed Drew Brees throw 5 touchdown passes to finalize your defeat. If by any chance there is a coffin nearby you, now would be a good time to stick a nail in it. Thank you and have a nice day."